Feeling Lost In Your Life


And she called the name of the Lord that spake unto her, Thou God seest me: for she said, Have I also here looked after him that seeth me?  Genesis 16:13
As I stared out the window washing dishes yet again, I couldn’t help but feel as if I were marking time. Being a older widow is not a easy life. You feel your life has passed you by and hope seems so far away.

Exactly how much time had I spent in front of the sink over the years with my hands in hot, soapy water, running circles over a plate with a rag or twisting it inside then outside a dirty cup? What else could I have accomplished in my life if I weren’t cleaning up the kitchen multiple times a day?

On that sunny afternoon, a tear escaped from the corner of one eye, quickly traveling to the bottom of my chin where it hung for a few seconds before dropping into the sudsy water below.

I felt lost.

Lost in the middle of my own life.

I’ve wondered if all the time I’ve spent doing mundane activities means anything to anyone. It’s more than just the dishes … the laundry and other household chores, they seemed so cyclical and redundant.

And then there is the issue of time.

Time moves more quickly by the minute. All of the people and things I loved simultaneously seemed to make me feel invisible.

I felt hidden.

Unnoticed.

Unseen.

As I stood with yet another tear making its way down the path of the first, I uttered an aching whisper to my heavenly Father. I told Him how I felt and asked Him to help me remember my unconditional value in Him.

And then He reminded me.

He reminded me about Hagar, who also felt hidden, unnoticed, unseen and forgotten. She had done the mundane work of being a servant girl and now felt tossed aside. (Genesis 16:6) She was alone when God spoke to her. And He told her that He saw her.

He saw her circumstances and assured her He had a plan — a plan that involved her continuing in the mundane work for a season.

And then He reminded me of others who also may have felt a little lost during a mundane season of life.

He saw Ruth doing the mundane work of picking up the leftover grain in the field for a season (Ruth 2:2), and He reminded me how it prepared Ruth for her husband.

He saw David doing the mundane work of shepherding sheep for a season (1 Samuel 16:19), and He reminded me how it prepared him to one day become King David.

He saw Peter and other disciples doing the mundane work of casting nets in hopes of catching a bounty of fish (Matthew 4:19), and He reminded me how it prepared the disciples to be fishers of men.

As I stood staring out the window, my heavenly Father reminded me that He saw me. He lovingly assured me my life was not lost to Him. He saw me doing the mundane work of dishes, diapers and dinner. He tenderly reminded me that my work didn’t define me but instead created character and beauty in my heart and home. He reminded me that even mundane work can be an act of worship.

He reminded me what I was doing was the primary work for a season, and that my faithfulness would lay a foundation for what may be ahead.

I was not lost at all. He saw me. The woman I am, the woman I’ve been and the woman I wanted to be. He knows how to care for me in each season and also prepare me for seasons to come.

Dear heavenly Father, I’m so glad to know that You see me. I’m so glad to know You value me unconditionally because I am Yours. Help me when I feel unseen, unnoticed or forgotten. Remind me that even my ordinary, routine work can be done for Your glory and that my life — even on mundane days — matters to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Cathey Lynn

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